March 6th 2017
It has been four months since my confession to the person that I have liked for 3 years. He didn’t feel the same way and I was left with heartache and confusion. I was disappointed and I didn’t know what God has for me.
Sometimes God throws us into a situation where the situation is either we take the way of praises or we take a way of despair. Last Friday in Christianity and Law, Dean Enlow was teaching regarding the way of praises. To praise, we must open our eyes to the heavenly truth, and this means sometimes, we must cease to see things in man’s way.
This semester, I decided to stand up and waged war against Satan’s stronghold in my deep insecurity. I chose to believe in God’s Word, that I am precious in His eyes, that I am loved with His love, that He has plans for me. In facing rejection, I choose to worship him everyday for what he has done in my life even though I do not understand at times what to do and how to hope anymore. I choose to love this person as my brother, I choose to still be kind and gentle to him although every fiber of my pride tell me to be defensive and to put him down. I choose to hope in the LORD that he will work things out for my good. I choose to pray to the LORD in all honesty, about how much I want this relationship to work out, I poured out every drop of desires in my heart to my God, who is a lover of my soul. I am not afraid even if I prayed the wrong prayer because I know the LORD’s Spirit knows all things and is the sufficiency of my prayers. He is my hope. I can be free because I know who will catch me when I fall, I know the One who leads me by my right hand.
Here is my praise,
Thank you LORD, that at this season you taught me to love without asking back, to be vulnerable without being weak, to be faithful in difficult season, to trust You that everything will work out for my good even when none of the prayers had been answered. Thank you LORD that although, I am walking on the edge of despair, I am holding fast to the strong Rock of hope, Christ Jesus my Lord.
I praise you LORD because I have hope in Christ, always, everyday, every moment, forever.
You are beyond what my mind can comprehend O LORD. and when I can’t see my way through tears, I will still trust you.