These days, to be honest, I have been so bitter at God.
I had been so faithful, yet the more faithful I am, the more spiritual warfare, the more I was afflicted.
I said, “LORD, I am done. let me go, I will live as I want.”
and I did. I didn’t desire Him, and I didn’t feel sorry about it.
I was fine.
I was having a good time.
And one day,
I suddenly felt empty, no matter how many pleasures I indulged myself in, at the end of the day, when the night comes, I felt insecure, I felt lost.
I tried reading the Bible but nothing came through.
I was alone.
He told me, “You do not desire My Presence.”
“You do not believe that I am good to you, that’s why you do not want me.”
Tears running down my cheek all the hurts came rushing back.
“Yes LORD, I do not believe that you are good.”
Again he said,
“I am the Living God.”
“I am the LORD.”
My sweet sister.
I get it.
It’s hard. It’s enticing. It’s strong.
It’s a part of your lifestyle.
Deep down, you feel the guilt.
Deep down, you know your shame.
You want to stop, but you wouldn’t even know where to start.
You are so loved.
Every single part of you. Even down to the deepest cracks in your heart.
You are loved.
You are prayed for. You are sung over.
You are prized.
So, my friend, let’s talk.
Let’s talk about sin.
It’s a three letter word that I don’t like hearing, but don’t hear enough.
Sometimes, I hate living in America because our culture has normalized and embraced and even praised sin.
Having sex with strangers. Getting drunk. Cheating the system. Stealing. Rebelling against parents. Using the name of “Jesus Christ” as a cuss word. Habitually watching porn. Cheating in relationships.
And sometimes I hate how…
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