Guidelines for Eternal Happiness?


“LORD, I have followed you with all my heart, I am a godly woman, I am attracted to godly man and we are serving the church together. I kept my purity, I prayed for him, I surrendered our relationship into your hands, but why does it hurt so much? I followed all the guidelines for godly relationship!! What else should I have done?”


We have all read it, “Guide to Dating for Christian Singles” “What to look for in a man?” “How to be a Godly Christian Singles”. We devoured it with passionate zeal and we expect a beautiful Christian fairytale.

All is good until the mist disappear.

Guidelines for Godly Relationship is not meant to give you guarantee for a brokenness free relationship, it is not meant to guarantee that the brother you are crushing on will return the feelings. The guidelines are meant to lead us in a way that make God proud, to make him glad, to honor Him.

I, for one, follow this guidelines, mistakenly believing that by following them I would get the man that I wanted. I didn’t. I was heartbroken. I was disillusioned. I was angry. I couldn’t believe that God FAILED ME.

Truth is, it is painful, relationship is scary and heartbreak is real and nothing can save you from that. You have taken the risk and you have followed God. Heartbreak or rejection is not a punishment nor indication that you have not loved God enough or that He doesn’t love you enough.

We Christian girls need to learn how to walk with God through heartbreak. Sure enough, we heard so many awesome fairytales story about how our pastor met his wife or how a female church leader met another church leader and fall in love in the LORD. And we thought that’s what gonna happen to us, eventually, if we follow The Guideline. But when it doesn’t happen, God is giving us a chance to see what is in our heart of heart. He is calling us back to Him although it is hard. He is calling us to be humble, to forgive that brother and to trust Him again, although maybe we feel like can’t trust Him anymore.

Slowly as we call upon the Prince of Shalom to restore Shalom in our heart, He will speak. It’s not a race, it’s a walk of wonder with God. The pain will be there, there will be anger and disappointment, there will be many wandering thoughts, thinking of what you did wrong or what the brother did wrong. But, do you want to be healed? Then humble yourself, acknowledge that you are a sinner too although you have been disappointed. Acknowledge that you need a Healer and you need to be restored.

And then you wait, you wait as He reveals Himself, as He comforts you through others and through His words. Recognize Him, open your eyes, pray that the scale of bitterness fell from your eyes. And when you can truly see, you will see that in your hand you have been entrusted with the seed of faith in your hand. Seed that is earned through season of prayer and pain.

Sisters, when we honor God through our relationship, although the relationship does not turn out to what we desire it to be, I believe with all my heart that God is well pleased and that in due time, He will show us that nothing is wasted. That He all along had been the one tending and growing that seed that will become a beautiful tree in His garden.

Trust Him.

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